And you break my heart so beautifully;

2009-06-03T16:10:00.001+08:00

This blog just sucks big time!
Thus, I decided to move somewhere else to start anew.
Find me at yourslurvingly (:

2009-06-01T14:18:00.003+08:00

I guessed I have attracted more haters!
I can only say I am a straightforward and honest person.
I doubt people out there had tried to feel me.
That's so so so unfair
BUT
Whatever!
I don't want to waste my energy about such matters anymore.
The old Me is dead and gone :D
So. . . .
Say hello to the new Sheena Ashley!
New life, New mindset, New goal!
Sometimes, in life, we make mistakes and we learn from it.

Comparisons are easily done once you had a taste of perfection :D
SUPERMAN SAVE ME LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO.

Over you by CHRIS DAUGHTRY suits my feelings now (:

2009-06-01T01:35:00.004+08:00

I bought my pink phone! (Like Finally!)
But my dad confiscated my 8228XXXX number.
I dont know when will I be getting back that number.
Perhaps, dad will not return it to me anymore.
I guess, what I can only do now is just stick to my current ugly number.

):

2009-05-30T00:00:00.008+08:00

Jin Hong and Me had broke up, officially.
So yeah, those ah lianxz out there make your way to his heart uh (:
All the best, dude!
Thanks for everything including the heartbreak.
I am sorry for all those harsh words.
May you find your happiness.
/Edited
This part is for you.
I am really disappointed in you.
All the love, all the time and effort, all the shoulder to lean on and the best-est, bullshit.
What was your reaction when I told you about my feelings?
I have lost to her, an ah lianxz.
I am always too naive towards you, haven’t I?
Since what happened, I knew that I shouldn’t believe you over and over again.
However I always choose to believe you again and again and again, and again.
And I was played.

It was lust, it wasn’t love.
It should never be this way, it should have never started.
I want to be there for you always, but I just failed to do so.
Don't push the fault to me okay.
What I am an actress?
Come on, if you not happy come and confront me lah.
Why do this to me?
If is not true how?
What if it is an misunderstanding?
You choose to believe some outsider than me?
I didn't even hide anything from you, I swear.
If you think I did, confront me! CONFRONT ME!
You didn't even asked me about it and just judge me from what you oh so analyze and your
"evidence".
That's so unfair!
It was your fault! You let me down.
Don't push the blame to me can?
I did nothing that let you down.
What I told L and C are all my heartfelt words.
FUCK YOU!
I TREAT YOU SO WELL AND YOU THINK IT WAS A SHOW?
I'm speechless!
Do some reflection man!
I guess, no one will be able to last with you.
I don't want to rant about your bad points here.
I am saving your pride which you loved oh so much.
I thought you were different.
I was so so so so wrong.
In actual fact, we can end things easily.
BLAME YOURSELF FOR THIS UGLY BREAK UP!

(I trust you, God.
Therefore, I believe God, you will do the job for me.
~~Please give me justice! Please! ):~~
I really hope things would happen just like what Mummy said.)

Personally,
I am happy about this break up.
Though, it is still kind of hard on me now.
Cause honestly, I feel I deserve someone much much better.
I wanna thank Mummy and Daddy for always being there for me.
I love the both of you to bits.
I promise, I won't disappoint the both of you with my O level results.
For now, I gonna mug hard for my O's and go NYP or RP.
Thank god for this break up.
I get to know who are my true friends are.
Many thanks to Kelly, Chermaine, Cherilyn, Sophie, Hafizah, Zinnia, Gladys, Cai Xing, Liang hao, Joseph, Christopher and Kah Jing.
In a way or so, the words you people told me had made me stronger and led me to the right route.
I wanna thank Kah Jing for telling my mum, Jin Hong's number when I got chased out of the house. You made the right move! (:
I wanna thank Joseph for calling my mum checking whether things are okay.
I wanna thank those who texted me (you know who you people are) the day after I got chased out asking me whether I am okay and everything.
I wanna thank my unusual for being there for me.
I wanna thank my sixsome for being there for me.

Christopher, I will open my eyes for my next boyfriend.
I will heed your advice for my sake (:

I'm officially a member of Christopher's Anti ____ & ____ Club!
They just sucks big time!
Totally different from us lah!
Right, Christopher?
BURN THEM ALIVE, BURN THEM ALIVE!

Anyway, Christopher and I will be organizing a Five A Two clique outing.
More information will be given to those who are involved personally (:
Please do support us yo!!!!!!!!!!!

P/S: Sudden urge of going to church! Anyone willing to join me? Kelly!!!!!!!!!!!! Want anot?

2009-05-18T14:44:00.006+08:00

One of my clique mate fav. phrase, Girls are stupid. After all that happened, it is tested and proven that the phrase was oh so true. I guess, I just can't run away from the fact that things between us had changed drastically. I guess, you have given up on me unknowingly. If I were to voice out my unhappiness towards you. You will feel vexed and irritated. So for the sake for keeping our relationship going, I fake a smile and swallow all the awful truth down. Yeah, I know people might say so unhappy than break lah. What is the point of keeping this relationship. And after all that happened, what is the point to salvage this relationship. I dont know why I am choosing this route too. My mind is asking me me to take the another route though it is super painful but my heart wants me to choose this route so badly. That can explain why I am walking this route now. Perhaps, it was me who caused things between us to be like this. Quarreling too often really did make this worst for the both of us. Or should I say make things worst at your side cause you are getting sick and tired of it and your feelings for me are fading. Temptations outside, you can't seem to resist. You have changed and I no longer know you. By looking at those cards you made for me, those things you once did for me, recalling those moments you are faithful and sacrifies your own well being for me, it just gives me strength to hold on. I am staying because I am still in love with you. The old you and I am pine-ing every hope that one day you will be changed back to the old you. I wish I wish.

It takes two hands to clap. Do you still want things between us to work out? Do you still love me? Sigh.

I really don't want both of us to end just like that, I thought we were stronger, I gave you my everything but why things turned out like this, I was never this serious before, Sigh. Sigh.

There's so much more to say, really.
I just can't elaborate further.
Feeling damm bruised and battered by everything.
I just feel like going back to the past, whereby everything between us are just so lovely.
Can we?

2009-05-13T18:22:00.004+08:00

White Horse- Taylor Swift

Say you're sorry
That face of an angel
Comes out just when you need it to
As I paced back and forth all this time
Cause I honestly believed in you
Holding on
The days drag on
Stupid girl,
I should have known, I should have known

[Chorus]
I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet,
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town,
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it's too late for you
And your white horse, to come around

Baby I was naive,
Got lost in your eyes
And never really had a chance
My mistake, I didn't know to be in love
You had to fight to have the upper hand
I had so many dreams
About you and me
Happy endings
Now I know

[Chorus]
I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet,
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town,
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it's too late for you
And your white horse, to come around

And there you are on your knees,
Begging for forgiveness, begging for me
Just like I always wanted but I'm so sorry

Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale
I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well
This is a big world, that was a small town
There in my rearview mirror disappearing now
And its too late for you and your white horse
Now its too late for you and your white horse, to catch me now

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa
Try and catch me now
Oh, it's too late
To catch me now

2009-05-13T13:55:00.004+08:00

My eyes are super puffy now.
Don't ask me why cause I doubt I will tell anyone reason besides girlfriends and close friends.
One step at a time.
I believe I can overcome this.

Emotions aside.
There's alot of shows I wanna catch suddenly.
I dont know why too.
X-Men Origins: Wolverine
Night At The Museum 2
Angels And Demons
The Ramen Girl
The Uninvited

Saturday plan:
Town- Plaza Sing , The Cathay & FEP
Catch- X Men Origins: Wolverine & Night At The Museum 2
Billy bombers- Vanilla milkshake (Sudden craving)
Cathay- To catch toys!
FEP- SLICE for dessert.

Someone please fund me ):
$.$

2009-05-10T11:37:00.004+08:00

Evaluation of myself shows self acceptance.

I just can't find any strengths in me but if you do, you can tag me and tell me so.
Fyi, I have been thinking for like 15mins and I still can't think of any strengths I have.
I don't know what is good about me, honestly.

From my point of view,
I am basically good for nothing.
1. I was never once a good daughter of my parents.
In my 18 years of life, I never make them proud for once.
When I was taking my N's,
I thought I did made them proud but they wasn't really happy with my results.
Cause I just merely scraped through it.
On top of that, I am always rebelling and inflicting hurt on them.

2. Yesterday when I was chatting with Zinnia at MSN.
Flashbacks of those days in Bowen just flashed through my mind.
I just thought of one word for myself, SHALLOW.
Perhaps, I have grown and I found myself way immature and shallow back then.
Just being a typical student, I didn't respect the teachers who taught me.
Teachers, they impart knowledge to us.
Instead of thanking them, I was being so immature but to make a fool out of myself during class, shout at them thinking I am oh so right with my lousy attitude towards studies and the list goes on.
Going around the school assuming I am some big fuck making fun of the lower secondary mates.
All of the above just brings out the shallowness in me. ):

3. And
I have weaknesses which are detrimental to my health.
An example would be my hot temper.
When I am irked, I find it incredibly difficult to control my outburst.
My face would usually turned as red as tomato as the blood would rush to my face.
Looking like some mad girl, my voice would bellow at the unfortunate soul who has incurred my wrath.
At times like this clique mates and people who know me well would either just stay away from me or just like me vent everything out and I will just make a fool out of myself.
(Don't ask me how I managed to tolerate Baby's nonsense as just so my girlfriends know both of us are similar in terms of temper and attitude. I think Kelly must be super amazed of how I managed to do that when I am like the princess in the clique way back in Secondary School. The power of love made me tolerate that? Perhaps.)
This hot temper of mine is compounded by the fact that I am very impatient.
People who are slow in reacting to me or in doing things and when things doesn't turn out to be the way I want it to be would set my temper off.
An example would be when Baby doesn't answer my call despite the fact, I bombard his phone with text messages and calls umpteen times. I would get mad but I just dont know why after he get backs to me. I am fine. Seriously, I think I am siao!
Okay. I side tracked already back to the point.

These are some things that I really have to change.

4. I am also terribly lazy!
This doesn't seem strange cause from my O's results it had shown crystal clear that I am one lazy bum!
At home, I am usually lazing around in my room.
Whenever I set an assignment for myself to do, I will keep procrastinate.
If this laziness in me doesn't get its way out of me, I guess, I will never be able to succeed in life.

5. I still have other weakness like I am super fickle minded, I have low self esteem and and I always love to do things at the eleventh hour.

At certain time in life, you need to do some reality checks to make you a better person in life.

Understanding yourself is the first step towards capitalising on your strengths and working to minise your weakness. Don't you agree, too? (:

2009-05-10T11:04:00.002+08:00

Is jealousy considered a totally bad feeling to have?

Man is a creature with thoughts and feelings. His physical needs like eating and sleeping are similar to those of animals. However, it is his thoughts, speech and public emotions that mark his humanity and differentiate him from other creatures. man is able to be kind, feel compassion and have other noble feelings towards his fellow humans. Man, however, also has unpleasant emotions namely hatred, cruelty and jealousy.

Jealousy is a negative emotion. To be jealous means to be envious of someone or to feel unhappy because one desires to possess something which another person has.

The feeling that a jealous person bears towards another is not a good one. It is born out of envy, resentment and ill will towards the other.

For example, a student may be jealous of a friend's good looks and grades. It usually does not matter to him that the friend may have taken the trouble to make himself pleasant or he may have studied hard to deserve his good grades. All it matters to him is that he is envious that the other person has the thing, position or attribute he wants. The jealous person feels unhappy that other party has something that he desires.

Being jealous reflects a person's immaturity. Jealousy can lead to negative actions. A jealous person may slander his rival in love. Sometimes, he may even resort to violence.

Even nations may be jealous of other nations and go to war against them. A dictator in a poor nation, faced with a dissatisfied populace, may go to war against a prosperous neighbouring country out of jealousy and to solve his own country's problems. A coporation losing business to another company may resort to dirty tactics against that company to win back their customers. Much unhappiness and suffering occurs when jealous parties resort to immoral acts against innocent parties whome they are envious of.

In popular literature and films, we often hear of the jealous lover. having lost his beloved ones affections, he may give full vent to his feelings of hate and resort to ways to harm his rival and win his loved one at all costs. This scenario often forms the plot of many love melodramas in fil. The audience is kept in suspense about the jealous person's future evil actions and this drives the film or plot along. Usually, the evil, jealous person will obtain is just desserts and be punished in the end as no one loves a jealous person.

Provided a jealous person does not resort to evil, some good may come our of a jealous state. A person who is jealous about his love rivial or his prosperous business rival may be spurred on to improve himself or his firm efficiency to be better than the other.

Jealousy will always be with the common man. A person become a better person when he does not allow jealousy to control him.

So this passage is just trying to tell me that I am not a good person cause I let jealousy take its toll on me.

How cool!

Okay, should not be sarcastic cause it does have it points too.

If you didn't realized what I have just realized.
People like ME who have super deee duper low self esteem tend to get jealous more easily.
Because they will tend to think that the other party is so much better than them as they are so pessimistic about themselves.

Emotion barrier, I guess.

2009-05-09T15:55:00.002+08:00

Blogging on a Saturday afternoon!
It has been ages since I last did that.
Feeling fuckin' terrible now.
1. My wisdom tooth is in the midst of growing and it hurts so bad ):
2. I miss my boyfriend.
3. I miss my girlfriends.
(Even though, I just met Kelly yesterday but we didn't have heart to heart talks lah!!!!!!! I was like waiting for her to rant to me about CNWL! =X)
4. Despite being in so much pain, I still have to accompany my parents for dinner and shopping. I am willing to do that cause it's Ashli Mae's Birthday. If not I will confirm stay at home cause the pain is like close to unbearable lah.
5. My boyfriend's phone ran out of batt. Thus, dead and it is super hard for me to contact him. He said he will call me after his mum uses the phone but I think it is more like he wants to watch finish his show which would end at 4.30pm without hearing my sickening voice. (Dont laugh when you see this)
6. I made boyfriend dissapointed cause I can't meet him on a saturday.
That always happen if I can't meet him on a saturday.
I feel _ _ _ _ _ _ and bad about it but what can I do?
Family gatherings happens once in a while.
For him, I skipped trivial gatherings and only attend those major ones.
Today is one of those major ones so I really had no choice.

I can't wait for the pain to go off.
I want to enjoy good food.
I have been eating porridge for 2days.
It just sucks so bad.
Eating the food I hate the MOST!
After I kiss goodbye to the pain, I will pamper myself with Seoul Garden!!!!!!!
Baby, we go eat together okay?
Not fattening de.
Cause Carbohydrates are the main culprit of making one fat.
Not PROTEINS.
& Proteins are the first thing that our tummy digest.
Not bad okay! I am teaching my readers F&N.

Hmm, I am lazy to blog already.
I am going to create one new garena account now.
Ciaos!!!!!!!!!

2009-05-07T23:49:00.000+08:00

2009-05-03T12:35:00.003+08:00

I want nobodyyyyyyy nobodyyyyyyyy but youuuuuuuuuuuu (:

What are you doing now? No calls and texts since last night. I am trying my best not to be mad at you. Cause I do not want to have another quarrel with you. I miss living in the world of our own. There's a number of times I wanted to rant about you in this space but I just held back. Cause I am afraid we would quarrel and you would think that you are not a good boyfriend. So I just bottled up my feelings. Recently, I dont know what had gotten into me and I am starting to express myself more than usual which made you think I had a change in me. I am really sorry about that. ): Baby, I just want you to know that I love you and I really do. I'd rather have bad times with you than good times with someone else. I just want to be with you till the day death tear us apart. Always be my baby pikachu? Will you?

P/S: You are a good boyfriend okay! Stop doubting!

2009-05-02T13:54:00.002+08:00

Any kind souls out there willing to stock my kitchen with kit kats?
Cause i really need to them to make my day (:

Have a BREAK, take a kit kat.
you get it?

I just can't help it but to take many breaks in between study time. ):
Perhaps, just like what Baby said the books have special power in them like they will produce some sleeping powder and make me feel sleepy after reading like half a page.

I am really worried!!!!!!!!!!!!
I really wanna do well but I dont know what the fuck I am doing.
Sheena!!!!!!!! Wake up please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ):
Textbooks can be fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Always look on the bright side of life.
LALALALALALA!~

2009-04-30T23:34:00.001+08:00

Sigh,
):

2009-04-24T13:47:00.002+08:00

JANUARY BABY
Pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored.Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt.. Sensitive. Down-to-Earth.Stubborn.

FEBRUARY BABY
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexiest out of everyone.Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness.Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Horny. Daring and stubborn.Ambitious.Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH BABY
Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Great kisser. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Observant and assesses others.

APRIL BABY
Suave and compromising. Funny and humorous.Stubborn. Very talkative. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does work well with others. Very confident. Sensitive. Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Able to cheer everyone up and/or make them laugh. Able to motivate oneself and others. Understanding. Fun to be around.Outgoing. Hyper.. Bubbly personality. Secretive. Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and travelling. Systematic. hot but has brains.

MAY BABY
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts.. Easily angered.Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint.Needs no motivation. Shy towards opposite sex.Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding.Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves travelling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children.Hardworking. High spirited.

JUNE BABY
You've got the best personality and are an absolute pleasure to be around. You love to make new friends and be outgoing. You are a great flirt and more than likely have an a very attractive partner. a wicked hottie. It is also more than likely that you have a massive record collection. You have a great choice in films, and may one day become a famous actor/actress yourself - heck, you've got the looks for it!!!

JULY BABY

Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Spazzy at times. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be with friends. Always brood about the past and the old friends. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

AUGUST BABY
outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds on attention. no self control. kind hearted. Self confident. loud and boisterous. VERY revengeful. easy to get along with and talk to. has an 'every thing's peachy' attitude. likes talking and singing.loves music. daydreamer. easily distracted. Hates not being trusted. BIG imagination. loves to be loved. hates studying. in need of 'that someone'. longs for freedom. rebellious when withheld or restricted. lives by 'no pain no gain' caring.always a suspect. playful. mysterious. 'charming' or 'beautiful' to everyone. stubborn. curious. independent. strong willed. a fighter.

SEPTEMBER BABY
Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself.Strong mentality.. Loves attention. Diplomatic.Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems.Brave and fearless. Adventurous.. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Usually you have many friends. Enjoys to make love. Emotional. Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivates oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore.Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can understand.

OCTOBER BABY
Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the centre. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend.. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily.. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Unpredictable.Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND sexiest of them all.

NOVEMBER BABY
Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and dangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun. Sexy and mysterious. Everyone is drawn towards your inner and outer beauty and independent personality. Playful, but secretive. Very emotional and temperamental sometimes. Meets new people easily and very social in a group. Fearless and independent. Can hold their own. Stands out in a crowd. Essentially very smart. Usually, the greatest men are born in this month. If you ever begin a relationship with someone from this month, hold on to them because their one of a kind.

DECEMBER BABY
This straight-up means ur the most good-looking person possible... better than all of these other months! Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive in everything. Active in games and interactions.Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to, though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision, yet complicated to know. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Has that someone always on his/her mind. Talkative. Daydreamer.Friendly.. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. one guy/girl kind of person. Lovable. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. loves music.

Somehow, it seems kind of true to me :D

2009-04-23T11:20:00.003+08:00

I keep procrastinating my revision for O's.
And this can't carry on.
Gotta pull up my socks already.

****************************************************************************************

April is coming to an end, like finally (:
Cause I'm lookin' forward to our Second Monthsary.
:D
I already have plans in mind.
All I have to do now is to save $.$

Baby,
Look forward for our Second Monthsary okay?
Cause it will be much more memorable than our first one :D
Despite everything that comes in our way,
I'm glad and thankful that you didn't give up on me,
I love you.

Labels: Studies, 070309(The Love Of My Life <3)

2009-04-22T08:11:00.002+08:00

FUCK!
FUCK!
FUCK!
FUCK!
FUCK!
FUCK!
FUCK!
FUCK!
FUCK!
FUCK!
FUCK!
FUCK!
FUCK!
FUCK!
FUCK!
FUCK!
FUCK!
FUCK!
FUCK!
FUCK!
FUCK!
FUCK!
FUCK!
FUCK!
FUCK!
FUCK!
FUCK!
FUCK!
FUCK!
FUCK!
FUCK!
FUCK!
FUCK!
FUCK!
FUCK!
FUCK!
FUCK!
FUCK!

2009-04-19T00:38:00.002+08:00

24hours per day seems to be insufficient for me.
I need at least 48hours.
I have been neglecting my family and girlfriends so badly.
There's so many things that I wanna do.
Like, Learn to play dota even though I am super CMI in it, Study for my O's, Arrange a meet up with my girlfriends, Spend more time with my family and the list goes on.

Sigh ):

I miss going to school.
At times like this, It really makes me regret for not studying last year.

Self note: I MUST NOT LET HISTORY REPEAT ITSELF!
RP NYP RP NYP RP NYP RP NYP RP NYP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sigh x2 )):

I think I am going to fall sick soon.
Body aches, Headaches, Gastric, Feel like puking.
I just dont know what is wrong with me.

And,
I forgot to mention that Mummy is having a cold war with me cause I fought for my freedom.

I just hate life now!

I want to attend school so badly, I want things between Mummy and me to be fine, I want to be happy, I want to score well for O's, I want to find a job after O's so I can buy my lap top. I want O's to end in the speed of light. I want to get into RP or NYP next year with my combined cert. I want to be a better person in life.

I shall stop whining and LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE! :D
CAUSE EVERYTHING WILL GET BETTER IN TIME.
IT WILL.

2009-04-13T14:31:00.003+08:00

I am missing Tshe Jin Hong so badly now ):

2009-04-12T12:51:00.003+08:00

Dota & Mu is snatching Baby away from me!
): x 1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
I want to play L4D!
Shooting games are more fun and easier to learn.
I am super CMI in Dota!
I doubt I can learn it at my finger tips.
I am thinking whether I should buy Sims and play.
Hmms, a DS is not bad either :D
And,
I think I can kiss O's goodbye already.
Text books, guide books and notes are turning me off!
How to succeed like this, you tell me?
LOL!

2009-04-12T11:58:00.004+08:00

Boyfriend wants me to blog about our every moment.
So since I woke up this early today,
I shall blog about our outing yesterday to Escape. (:

1. Met Baby at his crib first
2. Aftermath, his dad drove us to Bishan.
3. We had Yoshinoya for our breakfast + lunch.
4. We saw Mrs Sundram there!
5. After lunch, we walked around J8 and I bought something to hang on my bagpack.
6. Met up with his friend at the bus stop and we bused down to Downtown.
7. Despite the limited rides in Escape, we still had fun.
8. Since we got complimentary tickets we shall go back again for more fun!
9. Baby, this time only the both of us okay? *hint hint*
10. Left Escape for dinner at E! hub.
11. We settled on Buddy Hoagies.
12. After dinner, we went to claim our free ferries wheel ride.
13. Bused back to Serangoon.
14. Baby's Dad fetch us back to his crib.
15. Stayed there till 11.45pm.
16. Baby's mum drove me back home with Baby.
17. HSH at 12am.

I miss the Go Kart at Escape already.
I think it is a good way to release stress.
I wanna go back there for more!
I think the best moment to go back there is somewhere near O's!
So I can release all my stress and be stress free on the actual dates itself!

2009-04-09T18:39:00.004+08:00

I never once blogged about you in withlurvexz.
Cause I have been keeping everything in my heart
And I guess, it is going to explode soon.

Dearest Tshe Jin Hong,
After all we had been through since January.
My love for you has grown way more than I thought it will be.
I want to be the one who paint a smile on your face.
I want to make you feel the happiest guy in the world.
I guess I failed cause till today you still can't feel it.
You still can't feel that I love you more than I love Kah Jing, Christopher & Desmond.
I dare to say that my love for you was way deeper than for them.
Remember those days when you are at the verge of giving up on me.
How did I beg you to stay.
I was crying so badly till I felt, I was defeated by you.
They never made me felt this way.
Somehow, only you had the ability to make me feel this way.
I always wanted to spend more time with you.
Thus, for the past two days, I travelled all the way from Serangoon to Yew Tee.
Just to feel your touch and to accompany you.
Can't you tell how much I love you from everything I did for you,
the little sacrifices here and there,
how I would tolerate your temper and nonsense and still decide to stick with you.

Sigh

I wished you know how much I love you.
You are just different from them.
Way too different.
I hope you understand and know.

I love you and I will NEVER let you go.

Stay close, don't go.

Cause we are meant to be, luv.

2009-04-07T13:21:00.006+08:00

So yesterday. . .

- Went to Baby's Crib.
- Had lunch together at Serangoon Garden.
- Back to his crib.
- Watched some dumb movie.
- Chomp Chomp for dinner.
- Ice cube for dessert.
- We had a memorable experience at Ice cube.
- Back to his crib again!
- Watched the 9pm Channel 8 show.
- Cab'd back at 10.30pm

Did you heard before that a picture speaks a thousand words?
Let them do the talking instead :D

Sinful indulgence,
Don't you agree?

I look like I am begging Baby for something =/

Baby, I am camera shy one lor!
I swear, I never step!
HAHA!

Ignore my messy hair.
Look at Baby acting cute instead.
:D

*
*
*
*
*
*
*

Today is the 7th of April
so it marks our first monthsary.

Happy First Monthsary, My Luv.

2009-03-27T22:03:00.007+08:00

Pictures taken yesterday (:

We saw this monkey on our way to Underwater world.
Damm cute right?
The way the monkey eat is just like a kid.

Baby :D

Werid shaped fishes.

It's some type of eel.
I find this eel cute.
Don't you?

Can you find Nemo here?

Seahorse

Octopus

Cuttlefish

Baby Shark

Chio right?
I heart this fish colour.

Jellyfish

First photo taken in my 18th year of life.

Another picture of Baby :D

Candid shot by Liang Hao

I (L) YOU!
SEVENTHREEZERONINE.

2009-03-26T06:16:00.005+08:00

First day of being eighteen.
Feeling sucky.
I think it's some birthday tradition.
Every Twenty Six of March, I will feel this way.
I shall update this space later when I'm back.

/Edited

Twenty Six of March is awesomely awesome this year :D
Despite being moody in the morning.

Met Baby at Serangoon Mrt and he was LATE as usual.
Reached Vivo at 8plus going to 9am, I think.
We went LJS for breakfast.
I swear, Mac's breakfast is so much nicer than LJS's.
Sentosa was fun!
Especially, CineBlast and Luge.
I CAN'T BELIEVE I WON BABY IN LUGE!
:D
Left Sentosa for Vivo at 3plus.
When we arrived at Vivo, we went to buy tickets for Confessions of A Shopaholic, 4.25pm.
The show was nice but both of us fell asleep in the midst of the movie.
Ironically uh?
Can't blame us as we were damm tired.
After the movie, Baby "surprise" me with Liang Hao.
Why I said "surprise"?
Cause Baby accidentally leak it out while we were waiting for the movie to start.
We went Earle Swensons for dinner.
The manager suck balls man!
I swear, I will never patronize Earle Swensons again.
Firstly, the food sucks.
Secondly, the manager service and attitude really CMI (Cannot Make It).
So what is the reason to come back for another dining session there?
After dinner,
headed back Serangoon and went Ave2 to slack with Baby for awhile before cabbing home.
HSH at 10.30pm.

Many many thanks to Baby & Liang Hao for the surprise.
Especially, Baby!
Thanks for the Ice Cream cake and everything you had done for me just to make my 18th birthday memorable. It's YOU who electrify my life. (L) / (:

Not forgetting, the list of people who wished me by phone/text/msn/friendster or face book.

Chermaine,Cherilyn,Cai Xing, Kelly, Christopher, Gladys, Wei Lei, Zinnia, Jason Koh, Jason Goh, Azfar, Sophie, Humy, Hafizah, Haiqal, Kah Jing, Huda Choo, Daddy, Mummy & Brother.
(/ Sorry to those people whom I might forgot you had wished me)
Thanks for the birthday wishes people :D

2009-03-18T16:09:00.002+08:00

To my fav.guy in the world,
Shit happens and obstacles always appear between us.
One thing I really want you to know is that,
I want to see us holding hands overcoming those stupid shits and obstacles that are in our way.
I believe we can, do you? > :)

xoxo,
yours truly.

2009-03-18T06:09:00.005+08:00

This post is for freind.

Amnesia- Britney Spears
Insomia- Craig David
Bleeding love- Leona Lewis
T-Shirt ft. The Dream (Remix)- Shontelle
Untouched- The Veronicas
The Show- Lenka
Paparazzi- Lady Gaga
Together- Neyo
Love Story- Taylor Swift
Right Round- Flo Rida
Diva- Beyonce
Unbeautiful- Lesley Roy
Secret Valentine- We The Kings
All Again For You- We The Kings
Check Yes Juliet- We The Kings
Skyway Avenue- We The Kings
Gotta Be Somebody- Nickelback
Breathe Slow- Alesha Dixon

Hopefully, with this, you will be able to find the song you're looking for :D

2009-03-15T16:46:00.005+08:00

Imma happy girl :D
Cause Baby got me an Ipod Nano, my fav. Marie the cat plushie and a bagpack!
Thank god I found him!
Cause without him I wouldn't know what being loved feels like,
what being a princess feels like,
what loving someone means,
what true love is and all.
Every moment with him is the moment I treasure.
I'll do what it takes to keep us together cause I will never want to live life without you.
Baby, I love you.
/kisses*

Paid Cherilyn a visit at her work place.
I miss this girl many many!
):
I still remember those days in Bowen whereby we will quarrel for absurd reasons.
It's like damm dumb lah!
Of course, we have happy moments too.
I simply love gossiping and cam whore sessions with her.
Girl, mug hard okay?
We shall go poly together next year :D
Add oil!

xoxo

2009-03-13T22:40:00.003+08:00

Hafizah, Sophie & Kelly,
I will treat you girls Happy Meal next week okay?
Sorry for keeping such an important thing from you girls for so long.
My bad ):

xoxo,
your fickle-minded naive little spoilt princess

Baby,
Thanks for the dinner :D
Lucky you, surprise me with my fav.potato and pasta salad.
If not I'll be super mad at you for making me wait that long.

xoxo,
yours truly

IT fair tomorrow with Baby (:
Eggcited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If the Ipod Nano there is selling at a good price, I'll get it man!
Life w/o my creative zen sucks!!!!!!!!!!!
No good music for like a month plus or so already.
*pouts*
I shall continue eating my pasta salad.
Post tomorrow alright?
Ciaos!~

2009-03-12T08:42:00.007+08:00

It has been ages since I last had a proper post.
I'm back with a confession to make but wait a minute or maybe two?
Let me blog first (:
I am super pissed with Cambridge!
Reason being, our fuckin' maths paper.
The paper was definitely to our disadvantage and it is NOT FAIR to us.
Why I said it is NOT FAIR to us is because I saw the new syllabus paper 1 & 2 yesterday.
For paper 1, the difference between the new & old syllabus is . . .
Example: A boy blah blah blah(New syllabus) A girl blah blah blah(Old syllabus)
Another Example: the number is changed but the question is exactly the same. (Most of them)
And they can fuckin' use calculator and we can't!
For paper 2, the question are the exactly the same too.
Just a different format for graphs and they do not need to draw the cumulative graph.
All they have to do is just explain or use some formula to solve the questions.
My teacher told me that I could have gotten a C6 instead of an E8!
Pissed anot?

Okay, enough of this maths paper thingy.

**************************************************************************************
On a lighter and brighter note,
Birthday is in two weeks time (:
Ohmygawd!
That's really fast.
Dread of being eighteen!
Cause this means I am only left with two years of teens! ):
I've figured out some lil' pretty items that I would love to receive, perhaps? *grins.

The new Ipod Nano chromatic (in my fav.colour, RED)

Bagpacks like this for school!
(I'm bag-less now since my old bag stinks!)

Samsung F480 in Coral Pink

I could also do with
any pretty apparels,
accessories
and
a River Island wallet.

P/S: This is a birthday gift guide for those who are dear to me.
Please don't spam my tag board with nasty comments. =X

And finally for the long await confession . . .
*Drum rolls*
I really hope Hafizah, Sophie & Kelly won't kill me for this man!
Especially, Hafizah!
On the 7th of March 2009,
I'm officially attached to Jh!
This idiotic boyfriend of mine played a game of dota with me on the 7th of March(Night).
And we just ended the game hours ago.
Quite a long and tiring game!
BUT
I'm glad that everything is fine between us now (:

I, hereby, assure my darling baby, dear babe and precious sister that
I won't neglect you girls despite being attached.
Kelly, don't doubt me okay? ^^

**************************************************************************************

This part here is for Baby (:

I know you will be reading this.
Please don't be mad at me for calling you an idiotic boyfriend.
Cause I will still love you despite how idiotic you are (:
(Please do not tear after reading this touching post)

xoxo,
yours truly.

2009-03-09T13:08:00.003+08:00

Saw this at Kelly's blog and decided to do it since I am super bored now ):

♥ Fifty Seven Confessions of A Girl

Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?
- Kind of (:

A big poofy dress or a short party dress?
- Short party dress.

What would you do if you received a long love letter?
- I'll read it (Like duh!)

Group dates or single dates?
- It really depends on my mood.

Do you hate it when guys act different around their friends?
- YES YES! I DO!

Are diamonds a girl’s best friend?
- You can say so (:

Is your hair up or down today?
- Down.

Do you straighten your hair?
- Yes, almost once every year.

Favorite mascara?
- I do not have a specific fav brand.

Do you get your nails done?
- No

Small or large purses?
- Large

In your purse, what are your must haves?
- Cellphone and cash.

Jeans or sweats?
- Jeans

Do you wear clothes/shoes/jewelry that’s uncomfortable?
- At occasions

Do you text message a lot?
- Not really. I hate to text actually ):

What would you do if you got pregnant?
- Freaked out!

What’s your favorite color?
- RED is the new black! :D

Heels or flats?
- Heels

Did you ever cry during a romantic movie?
- Yeah.

Would you ever leave the house without make-up on?
- Yes.

Topshop or mango?
- Topshop (Like duh!)

Do you wear collared shirts?
- Yes.

Do you like preppy boys?
- Err. . .

Do you think lip gloss is the best!?
- Nope, Eye make up is the best~

Do you own any big sunglasses?
- Yes.

How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
- About an hour.

Do you like to wear band-aids?
- No

Do you like skater boys?
- YES YES! :D

Do you often wish there was something you could change?
- Yes! I wanna be super deee duper thin and chio!

Gold or silver?
- Depends.

Do you like to receive flowers?
- Hell no!

Do you like surfer boys?
- YES YES! :D

Do you dress up for the holidays?
- Duh!

Do you like to wear dresses?
- Yes.

On a scale of 1-10 how much do guys confuse you?
- 10, I just can't understand that species.

In the last 48 hours have you hung out with a guy?
- Yes.

Would you date a guy shorter than you?
- Of course, NO!

Do you like to hold hands?
- I prefer his hand over my waist.

What is the youngest you would date?
- Eg, we are both 17 but his birthday is at nov while mine is march. I don't mind. (:

What is the oldest you would date?
- 5?

What do you notice when you first meet a guy?
- His dressing!

Is it hot when guys sweat?
- It really depends man!

What is the best feature in a guy?
- Their eyes? or maybe, smile (:

Do you like making eye contact?
- Hmms, not really.

Would you kill for chocolate?
- NO! I hate chocolates so I won't do that. Can't be bothered.

Did you ever spend all day/night getting pretty for a guy?
- Hell yes!

On a scale from 1-10 how fun is shopping?
- 10! How can a shopping queen dislike shopping uh! :D

Do you freak out if you miss your favorite show?
- I won't

Do you yell a lot?
- Used to :X

Do you wear sweatpants/pajamas to school/work?
- I do not stay in IMH, mind you. LOL

Have you ever dressed unlike yourself to impress a guy?
- Never.

Do you write a lot of mushy love poems?
- I sucks at this

What makeup could you not live w/ out?
- Eyeliner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mascara!

Do you fall in love easily?
- Not really.

Do you have cramps?
- When big aunty comes, yes.

Do you think you have the bestest friend ever?
- Hmms, it makes me wonder! :D

2009-03-01T14:31:00.004+08:00

Any kind soul out there?

I want a . . . . . .

Samsung F480 in Coral Pink
OR
LG Viewty in Sweet Pink

2009-02-26T14:28:00.003+08:00

It's exactly ONE month to my 18th birthday! :D
Nothing much to be egg-cited about but lookin' forward as last year's was a bad one.
I might organize a class outing that day!
So I am able to spend my day with all my friends.
I am still in the midst of planning now.
More details shall be revealed prolly around mid-march.

2009-02-24T00:40:00.002+08:00

Hours ago, Brother and I went Bishan ITE as I have to enroll for night classes.
Holidays is officially ending for me ):
As this Wednesday I got to report at Bishan ITE for classes already.
I will only be attending classes on every Tuesday and Wednesday.
Tuesday at YCKSS for Science and Wednesday at Bishan ITE for Maths.
So it is kind of obvious what I am going to do for the rest of the year.
No JC, Poly and ITE for me.
I will be retaking my O's.
Talk is cheap, talk cock is cheaper.
Only actions speaks.
Hopefully, I'll overcome my laziness this year and score well for those subjects I'm retaking.

Goal of the year: Can't let history repeat itself! :D

2009-02-21T23:10:00.004+08:00

P/S: I will be blogging in point forms today.

- Town'ed with Kelly.
- Met her at Houg Mall.
- Bought my blue lens, like finally.
- Went Made With Love as Kelly wanted to get something there.
- Had Kfc upon reaching FEP
- While eating, my phone hang and died.
- I was wearing this stupid pair of heels and I got blisters all over my feet.
- I bought 3 boxers from Cotton On (Body), Wisma.
- However, they seems like shorts to me -.-
- Since the blisters are killing me, I bought a pair of flip flop from Hula & Co, Wisma.
- Total damaged today: $62 (Heartpainxz! siol)

I shall continue with my daddy's birthday card now.
Ciaos!

2009-02-14T21:54:00.004+08:00

Happy Valentine's Day! (L)

My Valentine's date this year is Kelly!

Wakie at 11.30am.
Did all the necessary stuff (Like, bathe, changed and etc)
Left home at 1pm.
Daddy drove me over to Houg Mall so I didn't have to travel there in bus.
Thanks Daddy! :D
I was early so I went around shopping at Houg Mall.
Like finally, I met up with Kelly and we went Mini Toons to get her paper bag.
After which, we headed down town in MRT.
Town was bombarded with couples holding hands and girls with flowers or balloons!
That scene just made Kelly and I felt super ENVY!
We went over to Far East Plaza's Ncore to pass something to someone.
(Kelly's dirty little secret!)
Aftermath, Kelly accompanied me to shop for my brother's birthday gift but to no avail.
So we went Tangs, Wisma and Taka to search for his present.
In the end, I managed to get him a billabong pencil case at Taka's Sports department.
Kelly headed back home while I went to find my parents and brother at Centrepoint.
My family went over to God Mummy's place for Prawn Mee.
ONE WORD: SHIOK!!!! :D
Left God Mummy's place at 9.
HSH at 9.30.

I must say this is one of the best valentine's day I had.

***********************************************************************

Kelly, I know you will be reading this.
Thanks for the cookies uh!
They are really yummy.
I am sure he love it too. :D
AND
Horny, Thanks for the handmade card and gift.

<3 <3 <3

2009-02-11T22:59:00.004+08:00

Flowers,Chocolates and Teddy Bears is a big NO for this Saturday's V.Day.
Try something new which will make your love ones feel GAY :D
Don't you girls agree with me?
Flowers, Chocolates and Teddy Bears are just way too BORING!

2009-02-07T13:44:00.006+08:00

On Chu Er, left home at around 2plus.
First stop: Bishan, God Momma's place.
Cousins were gambling.
So yeah, I just slacked around since I didn't want to gamble.
Ming Long came and we catch up a little.
Accompanied him to fetch his girlfriend.
Back to God Momma's place.
I was busy online shopping.
At around 5, my family left for SGH to visit my grandmother.
Headed to Mount Sinai after we left SGH.
We had buffet.
After which Kimmy Cuzzy and I cam-whored.
Headed home at 9plus since Brother had school the next day.

2009-01-26T10:57:00.003+08:00

I don't feel good at all about this moo moo year.
Yesterday, my creative zen died, my brother's phone died and the tv died too.
Wtfxz!
Seriously, I don't know how am I suppose to survive today without my zen.
Mummy told me that we're going to Amk today.
I wish I could skip that part of the day.
I can imagine the scene later on whereby all my relatives would bomb me questions like
Hey Sheena, how's your O's results?
So where are you going?
Poly cannot uh?
Than ITE or private?
If only I could insert a cork into their mouths.
!@#$%^&*
On a happier note, I will be able to catch up with Kimmy and Ming long.

/To be edited (:

So Chu Yi wasn't as bad as I expected.
Left home at 4plus.
We were super deee duper late this year.
First stop: Clementi, Wai Po's place.
Second stop: Mount Sinai, Ah yi's place.
Third stop: Amk, Mama's place.
Fourth stop: Amk, Uncle Sam's place
Fifth stop: Back to my place :D

Just a summarize version of Chu Yi.
Imma lazy blogger, you guys should know by now. =X

2009-01-11T23:45:00.002+08:00

It seems like yesterday when I stepped into Mr Yeo's office.
Somehow, I was like begging him for a chance to let me stay in Bowen to do my O levels.
I still remembered he asked me what course I am aiming for and I replied an IT course in NYP.
I have dreams and I want to accomplish them.
Me, Myself don't even understand why I am not taking things seriously.
Perhaps, I am born in a sliver spoon.
Everything is provided for me.
& I take things for granted cause I never once had to worry about my next meal or whether I had to wear clothes with holes.
I should thank Mummy and Daddy for that.
When Mummy cares for me, I shouted at her for being sucha pest.
Can you imagine my mother actually BEG me to study.
She told me this: Sheena, I beg you, please study. Seriously, I beg you. I beg I beg I beg you.
I am not trying to be dramatic here but it is the truth.
In a blink of an eye, it is the end of O's and I am getting my results back tmr.
Somehow,I knew, it killed me.
Okay, I shouldn't say it killed me.
I killed myself.
You can say I commit suicide.
I didn't treasure the chance he (Mr Yeo) gave me.
I am suppose to accomplish my dreams!
Perhaps, it is the lack of motivation?
Or maybe, I am just way too tired to mug after mugging so hard the year before for N's.
Honestly, to me, all these are excuses.
I wasted a year of my life being a redundant.

I did a little reflection moments ago.
I came to realize I spent last year in a very wrong way.
Instead of studying hard, I was loving hard.
Call me dumb.
I was loving a man who can't be moved so hard.
In the end, we didn't get together and the funniest part is I am over him now.
Come to think of that, everything I did went into the drain in the speed of light.
& I don't see a point for me to love him like a mad dog.
It affected my studies so badly.
Apart from that, laziness had overcome me time after time.
Today, I have to bear the consequences of my actions.

I don't ask for much.
All I want is just another chance in Bowen.
To accomplish my dreams.
And this time, I will study hard.
Yeah yeah,
Talk is cheap ; Actions speaks.
I will prove that.
All I need is just another chance. ):

Labels: Damm Regret

2009-01-09T21:45:00.004+08:00

Fate controls who walks into your life.
You decide who you want to be out of your life and who you want to be in your life.

2009-01-07T23:40:00.004+08:00

Wakie at 12pm.
I gave K a morning call > :D
Online'd till around 2plus.
Cab'd down to Kovan.
Met K and afew of my classmates at Superbowl.
They had two games of bowl.
After the two games, we went to have lunch at QiJi.
The way R said QiJi sounds like JiJi.
Damm funny lor.
After lunch, we chatted awhile at QiJi before heading back to Superbowl.
This time they pool'd.
I had my virgin try in pool.
I know I sound like a mountain wu gui.
I simply sucks at pool but it's fun.
Arcade was next followed by another game of bowl.
Met Cx and Co at KFC as I have to collect my pay from Kj.
Bought dinner and met Mummy at interchange.
Bus'd back home with Mummy.

(You know who you are)
Sorry for the hurt that I've inflicted on you in the past.
I'm glad we're friends once again.
:D

2009-01-01T02:10:00.005+08:00

Happy 2009!
Happy 16th Birthday to Ivan!
Happy 19th Birthday to Telvin Brother!

I had a hard time sending out text messages at 12am.
It's super frustrating.
Cause the sending failed thingy keep appearing on the phone.

Just a short post to wish all withlurvexz's readers a happy new year.
It's bed time for me.
Got to wake up early to help my maid to cook lunch for the family.
Nightxz!

2008-12-31T15:57:00.004+08:00

Resolutions for the year 2009 (:

Resolution [#01] : Be a happy kid.
Resolution [#02]: Spend more time with the family.
Resolution [#03]: Be more serious in my studies.
Resolution [#04]: Find my ultimate GFF.
Resolution [#05]: Forget him asap.
Resolution [#06]: Find my Lover Boy and be with him on the 09/09/09, 9.09am.
Resolution [#07]: Shed 5kilos away.
Resolution [#08]: Be nicer to the people around me. (Esp, my parents and brother.)
Resolution [#09]: Try my best to fulfill the above eight resolutions (:

2009 have to be a good year or should I say a better year? :D

2008-12-30T16:18:00.003+08:00

Since after that incident,
I think you only strike a conversation with me whenever you need my help or thank me for something.

I'm sure it is not so hard to talk to me..
Or is it really this hard?
I guess I made it this hard. I'm sorry. ):

All these while,
I am afraid that one day
I will run out of excuses to talk to you.

And today I really did ran out of excuses to talk to you.
What is left within us is just MAPLE.
You don't talk to me like you always do.
You don't bicker with me like you always do.
You don't gossip with me like you always do.
You don't ask me to ring you up whenever you are bored anymore.
You don't pm me on Msn whenever you are bored anymore too.

为什么现在我觉得你离我很远很远?
No matter how hard I try to reach out for you,
I always failed.

I really miss those mugging days whereby we mug for O's together.
Even though, we are not together but with that closeness, I am contented.
At that moment, I felt happiness once again.
I was like the happiest girl in the world.

Flames to dust,
Lovers to friends,
Why do all good things come to an end?

I know I had screw'd things even further with all those "quarrels" and blah blah blah.
A moment of folly, I guess.
Each time when I get too emotional.
My emotions just take its toll on me and lose control of myself.
IdontknowwhyIamtypingallthesewhenIjollywellknowyoudontgiveadammaboutme.

P/S: Tmr post will be about my new year resolutions. (:

With that,
I shall kiss emo posts goodbye (K)

2008-12-29T15:28:00.002+08:00

You go about everyday without a single thought of me,
keep laughing & keep being happy with your friends
but why can't I?

Every single moment, with you, I'm at my best.
Can't you see it?

It's not that I do not want to let go.
I want to (so badly, in fact) because I've been upset for so long,
long enough for a seed to blossom into a beautiful flower
& I'm still here missing you, tearing away, watching the clip of happy memories.

I don't want to because..I don't know. > :/
My heart just can't stop going against my mind.
It keeps telling me that you're the perfect man for me.
And as long I believe in miracles someday you will be mine.
Perhaps, that's the reason why I am not willing to let it go.

Oh wait, I guess, it's more of Sheena's wishful thinking.

WAKE UP SHEENA!
STOP DREAMING!
): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ):

2008-12-29T02:24:00.005+08:00

I hate it when I break down and cry, feeling upset and sorry for myself.
Well, tonight is just another night whereby I miss you more than usual.
That's when I will think of the way you looked, the way you smiled and
the list goes on.
I remind myself constantly that whatever I do for you is
either you do not know a single thing about it
OR
even if you'd get to know about it,
you will not be bothered by it.
Needless to say, you would not feel sorry for me,
or even a least bit thankful for all that I've done.

However, after all I had been through, I still want the best for you.

At times,
I wished you remember everything like the way I did.
I wished you knew how much I've missed & still missing you.
I wished you knew your care & concern are the warmest in the times of coldness like this.
I wished you knew when I need a listener or someone to rant to about my bad day
I would think of you as the best candidate.
I wished you knew I always love to see your cool back view on my cellphone screen.
I wished you knew what I really wish for & want this Christmas.
I wished you would not just stay in this silence but finally break it.
I wish you would make an effort to take a second look at me.
I wish you knew how much I've wished & still wishing for you.

I just don't know why
everything inside doesn't comes out right
& when I see you cry,
it makes me wanna die.

I should not have done so.
but
it had already happened.
So yeah,
I'm sorry, boy that I had fall for you.
):

2008-12-28T16:20:00.004+08:00

Just three words: you meant everything. (L)

2008-12-25T03:28:00.000+08:00

Fuck this Christmas!
So what if I had spent it with the one I love.
Maybe I should not be whining.
Cause I am the one at fault.
Yes, I am inconsiderate.
I didn't put the whole family in consideration.
I was self-centered.
Your words, they cut my heart into pieces.
Like a razor blade repeatedly dragging through it.
You still don't know me well enough.
I find it amusing and sad at the same time.
Cause you're my dad.

FUCKED UP!
!!@#^%&(&**_()
RAHH!* > :@

2008-12-17T05:39:00.001+08:00

What can I say?
I am sick of livejournal and decided to move back to blogger.
O wells, I guess,
fickle is the best word to describe me when it comes to blogging.

Wakie at 12pm.
The Clique came over with Jenny.
I am having PMS like very often ever since __________.
I just lose control of myself and let my emotions over take me.
I can't blame the clique if they call me a siao cha bor.
They left my place around 7pm.
Initially I wanted to join them for dinner
but my dad called me to get my ass back home straight.
And here I am bloggin'.

Dad said that he is craving for Newton Circle's Fishball Noodles.
So yeah, most prolly, that is what I am going to have for dinner.
I shall play afew rounds of audi, in the mean time while Dad bathes.
Ciaos!